One thing that irked me this break is I could never predict the behaviors my two would have when we went out with others. One day one would be perfect and the other extra "silly": unable to remain seated, giggling uncontrollably, whining non stop when redirected, fake tantrums for attention... Then the next time the two reverse which one was acting inappropriate while the other was good as gold. I know a lot of the time they are trying to get attention or control, but it is annoying. Especially so when I know they are fully capable of behaving appropriately.
No, they do not act out every time we go out. Just seems that this Christmas break they regressed to old behaviors more frequently than the past 6 months. This was typical the first 6-9 months after their arrival- tantrums, running around, not listening (English or Creole commands), sleep issues (which continue, but are/were getting better), food issues... shall I go on? We have dealt with the inappropriate behaviors, examined and in most cases determined the cause of the behaviors and replaced the inappropriate actions with more acceptable ones. Then addressed the root of the behaviors.
ie: In the beginning S would often tantrum in stores. Not just crying, but ear piercing screams that could break glass and were endless. She could scream for hours without wearing herself out. We determined the causes was her being overwhelmed by all the stimuli. So I took her to the closest exit or restroom and in once case stock room, turned off the lights and held her tightly while comforting her in Creole. Once she settled down- usually a few seconds, she was fine for about ten min- usually enough time to pay for the groceries and head out. She still has issues with a few stores that have bright lights and play fast paced music (like Old Navy), but is fine in stores that play soft music or have less fluorescent lights. So for now, we avoid the stores I know overstimulate her. I've also learned to watch her cues and if she starts to get anxious we immediately leave or go to the restroom to refocus.
We haven't had a major store breakdown in months.... Until this break. Almost every store we went into S had a tantrum to some degree the last two weeks. She even had a tantrum in the non decorated pet store which is usually a treat trip for the girls. I've gotten pretty good at the "Don't but in I am handling this" glare as no one even tried to continue to "help" once I looked at them. But the comments from those close to us bothered me more this break. "Just give her what she wants so she stops."(NO!) "You shouldn't let her get away with that" (I'm not as I am removing her from the area). "Isn't she too old to still be doing that?"-(Well, obviously not- it is happening right now.) Do others not realize their comments just add to the fire? If a child is acting out negatively for attention or control and you give in or they see they can influence someone else to their side they have their audience and will amplify the inappropriate behavior? Please MYOB while I parent my child. If you need to comment, please do so when the children are not around.
Hopefully we will return to our normal now that we are back in our normal routine.
This is not where I planned this post to go, but it is truthful. :)
Next topic? Anyone know how to stop thumb sucking. I'd be better if it was just the thumb sucking, but this one includes body manipulation while ts. She pulls her skin from her neck, belly button, knee, or presses down in her eye socket while ts. I know it is comforting for her, but I'm afraid she'll hurt herself with the manipulations, especially around her eye. I've tried replacement items, talking to her, showing her how her teeth are moving, comforting her with hugs, hand holding, positive reinforcement for not, ignoring.... The ts is the worst when she is tired or nervous, but can and does occur anytime. (She liked the bitter apple and tobasco too. )
